Funny How Things Change

          Its so funny when you meet a person the two of you always have so many things to talk about. This is surpposed to be the time that you both are getting to know each other. You know all of your likes and dislikes. Things that turn you on and off. So you can see if this relationship is worth pursuing. If it's not you can just move on and not talk to the person again. Right?
           But,what do you do when you and the other person where friends?. Then what do you do? First if you are going to be in a relationship it's best to be in it with your friend. Because the theory is that if you are friends you will have a greater respect for each other. But  there is a flip side to that . Sometimes when you are friends, you should never think about jumping into the dating pool.
           Now, I know some of you maybe saying. Why? Well the real truth is. Some people are just not meant to date their friends.  What I mean is some friends look at their friends like family. So you just don't see yourself dating them. Then we have the friends that we tell everything to. They may know all so your secrets about you and your dating  habits. So they know the type of cunning and conniving things you can and will do when they want out of the relationship. If the relationship doesn't work.
         At the same time, you feel like you can be yourself. Right?  I have some people that would totally agree with me and some that will totally disagree.  There are also some that will disagree with all of this.
          So people married their best friend and they say that they are very happy. But did they start off as best friends? Or over time that is who they have become. I say this because marriage comes with a whole new set of challenges. So why am telling you all of this? It's simple everything that works for one group of people. May very well not work for another. That is why it is important to know yourself. Be TRUTHFUL to you so you don't keep making the same mistakes you have made in the past.
           It's sad but true. We get in relationships without fixing what is wrong with us first. Or finish mourning or grieving over the past relationship. If you don't have closure or have gotten over the feelings that you once had for somebody. Than you can not honestly move on in a new relationship.
So stop trying you are not ready. And this new relationship will fail like the last.

As Always Have Sex Responsibly.
                                                    Love Stormy Weather 69

Time Out ! Yes I Said Time Out !!!!!

          When you get involved in a relationship  in the beginning you try to be available , understanding and patient. In hindsight that is good. But how long is that going to work without losing yourself.

          Now your feeling that what you have to say is no longer important. They act as if what is going on in their day is more important. And what is going on in yours, not so much.This happens so often in relationships, that it almost becomes second nature. Now is that Right or Wrong I dare not say. Because anyone can fall victim of this behavior . I need you to understand that I'm not passing judgment. I'm simply saying that it doesn't have to be that way.  And trust me I know this is easier said than done.
         So how do you break the cycle?  How do we change or response to our mates. First we need to let ourselves know that we Love Our self and the people in our life are a part of our life, they are not Our Life. We must encourage our love ones to still be individuals. So that we may be individuals as well. We also need to stop being so passive, when they say or do things we really don't like.
        Am I saying we should always respond in a defensive way? No. That will bring you a whole new can of problems. But do find a non confrontational way to get your point across. Often our mates don't realize they are taking us for granted . On the other hand they know it, but they just don't give a shit.
       Our children are different. They will always need you. But we must encourage them to be independent. Not grow up too fast. but do some things on their own.......
        Back to our mates. Do you find time for yourself as much as you find time for them? If the answer is no. Than this Monday or Tuesday is going to be your day. No If And's or Buts. Text them or make a note or call them on the phone and let them know. That your important day is coming up and you are not going to be able to cook, do laundry, child care or run errands. They are going to have to do them their selves. At first they are going to think you are kidding or you can't be serious. But simply assure them that you are. Then go on about your day. At first it will feel crazy. But everything will be fine. If you don't take your Time Out. They will not give it to you.... It's not that you don't still Love them. So don't think like that. You simply need some Me time. So you can be your best when you are giving them their time. Trust me they will get it. good Luck and smile your not alone.

                                 As Always Have Sex Responsibly
                                                                     Love Stormy Weather69